Friday, November 5, 2010

What are you going to tell him....

One of my kids favorite video's to watch is "Addis's Video." Many times throughout the week it is asked for by that title. Created by my husband to give an a way for other to absorb our experience as well as having something for Addis. As our adoption process was coming to a close and we were nearly ready to leave the question was asked by many... "what are you going to tell him when he gets older?" Interesting.. of course we thought about this and my gut said..."the truth." Innocently when we returned from Ethiopia I was walking Ellie to school and she asked me.. "momma is Ethiopia in your tummy?" Her 4 year old understanding at the time was this... you and dad have been talking about our brother.. you said he was from Ethiopia... you left.. came back with Addis... Similar to... you talked to me about a baby coming... you left... came back with Ansley Mills.. Man I can see how this would be tricky. The answer then was "God had Addis planned for our family just like God had you planned for our family." Let's be honest as parents we are wingin' it most of the time.

Fast forward two years and here we are with kids who understand things a bit more or at least have more pointed questions. As we watch this video now the question has been asked.. "why would someone leave him in a field?" Heartbreaking right? One time Ellie asked me.."Does Addis have another mom?" Calmly (thanks Jesus) I just asked Ellie "Do you have another mom?" She laughed and said no... and then said "I get it.. neither does Addis." More questions will come.. I would gather that one day Addis may have many questions but maybe not. Either is okay. We try hard to share the age appropriate truth to these questions. Sometimes that is really hard.

It is important that all of us have an understand of where Addis was born. We choose to be a family of five... not two kids with one Ethiopian. Our desire is to always share and be a part of the Ethiopian culture. Living in DC makes that super easy. Our goal is to travel back to Ethiopia as a family. Hopefully more than once! Until then we gather around our computer and take in the gift that each child is to our family. All the kids light up when this video plays...especially Addis. How much does he understand? I don't know. What are you going to tell him? The truth. God had you planned for our family!
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Bella and her Mama said...

thank you for this! thank you for reassuring me that I don't have to have all the answers ready right now! AND that Bella and I are a FAMILY - just the 2 of us- young, single white mom, and black Haitian baby! That reality just hit me for the first time the other night laying in bed with her... I whispered to her "YOU are my family now...".
Blessings to your family of five.