Monday, February 23, 2009

My Third Pregnancy...

I have debated in my head and heart about sharing with everyone how much this adoption mirrored being pregnant and delivering a biological child. It has long been assumed that many people adopt because they have tried to have their own children with heartbreaking results. However, there are many examples of families adding to the brood through adoption for many reasons other than fertility issues. Either is a beautiful example of loving someone more than yourself, and the adoption of a child is a gift to any family for any reason. We praise God for the many agencies and organizations that work so hard to find homes for orphans. That being said, having been pregnant twice before I am overwhelmed with how similar this third "pregnancy" was to my previous ones. If there is any woman out there feeling like she is missing something or does not feel like they have experienced a true pregnancy and birth, that dear sisters you have!


For us deciding to adopt was a similar process to deciding to try to get pregnant. Same questions, same concerns, when should we start, can we really do this, should we do this, are we ready for the changes that will result in this decision, can we love this person, etc. When you decide this, yes, you get sorta giddy about it. However, you don't want to just "brag" about it. That feels a bit inappropriate at times, like look at me.. I am going to have sex with my husband and make a baby... you would never say that, right?

Then the silent introduction into paperwork, aka morning sickness. Your not showing but your not as crazy excited as you were the moment you found out! The hidden charges of going to your doctor's office and getting charged for a signature, then a piece of your paperwork gets rejected because a notary didn't write down the correct date, and the constant fear of doing a major piece of paperwork wrong only to prolong your first trimester (you just want to know you are safely out of the first trimester). Please just get me on that wait list! Mean while you are noticing families with adopted children, meeting people who have been adopted or are in the same process. You compare notes, get pointers, read articles and wait, wait, wait...

Once out of the woods and on the wait list, you long for your "ultrasound." That is, the picture, the face, and the sweet little life that you get to see face to face albeit on screen (really NO difference there friends.. only your at home which is more comfortable and less slimy). The phone call that awakens your spirit, "you've been matched." That sweet precious face, that heartbeat, that little person who now you realize is waiting too!! They are waiting just to be a part of your family. And you wait some more. As your wait for a court date, you think are we ready? do we have everything we need? did we read enough? will this ever friggin happen? how are we going to pay for this?
The next time your phone rings, you receive your court date. This little period can seriously mess with you. Will it really be the date or will it move, and will they see my case? Will they have the necessary paperwork ready to go when my name gets called. I compare this segment to the last two months when your ready to pop, or so you think. You are so close yet have so long to go before "labor." When you pass court (praise!), and this child is legally yours, its like your sweet OB told you, "any day you can have this baby and they will be fine." As you wait those last few weeks to travel, you think, how can i induce this labor?? This child has to get out! I can't sleep, and I don't care how hard it is, just get it here already!!! Packing for your travels to Addis, and heading to the airport.... well your in labor my friends!!!

As you labor overseas, through customs and into a new world, you can not really anticipate what it will be like to meet this little face, this new sweet child. It's yours, it belongs to you, they are just going to hand it over.. ahhh are you ready? Some people literally go from 20+ hours of travel straight to meet their new little person. Talk about sleep deprived, its great preparation. As your "pushing" and see the car roll up and know your child is in it, you can't hardly take it. Then it happens, out with your child, you hold it, you kiss it, your not quite sure how to love it. Friends it's a miracle, a true miracle!


9 comments:

Julie Wheatley said...

why am I crying? that was so sweet and beautiful. and those feelings/comments will always meant the world to Addis i'm sure. y'all are such great parents! i wish there was a way to send this out to all parents who are in the process of adopting!

The Macs said...

Tom and Leah,

That is a wonderful post! What a beautiful comparison. I hope that you and the girls are adjusting well to your new addition.

The Trone's: James, Misty, and Bella Grace said...

Leah.. sweet, sweet words. Thanks for sharing that..

The Elliott's Adventures said...

that is a lot like the description my mom often gave about "waiting" on me. she even said she would talk to me as though she was the one carrying me and not my biological mom.
what a blessing adoption is!

The Albertsons said...

love this... such great words friend! i totally agree (obviously my experience mirrored yours!)!
love
becca

Anonymous said...

Thanks for writing this. As an infertile couple on the verge of beginning the adoption process, I'm so happy that I'll be able to have a "pregnancy experience"...I never thought I'd get to have that...turns out, I will!

Very encouraging post!

Ann Woods said...

I love this post! What a great description of your adoption experience!

traceepersiko said...

such a great illustration Leah! seriously that was awesome! thank you for telling it. I need to meet this babe of goodness!

Farmboy and Buttercup said...

Great comparison. Just wish the adoption process would be only a mere 9 months.